back on the Weight Watchers Wagon...again and again and again.

Part of my success as a new real estate agent (when I pass the exam) is the 'image' of myself being an agent.  Thin(ish) and professional, cute skirts, tasteful heels, pin-striped jackets with camesoles, long dark brown hair.  (yes, dark brown!)    I deeply feel this image or new career path is a package deal.  So, this past  Monday, I started WW again...AGAIN!  

I don't mind WW....I really like the 'good for you' foods.   Veggies, fish, fruit, whole grain breads, whole grain rice, water.  So really that's pretty easy for me.  What happens is I lose the weight, then take 8 months and gain it right back.  Exercising outside in the summer is a challenge because I'm SOOOO heat sensitive.  Luckily for me, it stays light enough for a late evening walk or run,  errrr slow jog....trot, ok...stroll.   I'm also good at preparing my own meals.  I do buy a few 'Smart One's' a week, but only three, and I add rice, or more steamed veggies.   I took pictures of my last two days of lunches.  Yesterdays was 5 points, today is 8. 

(omg i see my toes!!)

4 point Smart One's with 1 1/2 cups steamed broccoli added

(my fork has been 'used' to take the salmon out of the toaster oven lol)

4 ounces baked salmon, 1 1/2 cups brown rice (I add salsa for flavor) and 1 cup(ish) steamed broccoli ~ I use a salad plate for a full meal look effect.

So, I'm back in the saddle.  I consider it another step towards achieving my ultimate goal, which really....now that I think about it, is a whole new me.  And that excites me....a lot.

the power of prayer?

I will be the first to admit that I do not attend church services, nor am I a bible thumper.  I do consider myself spiritual, and I do believe in God, very much so.  I guess sometimes I have wondered if God believed in me.

 I realized over the past few months that alcohol was probably going to keep me from real estate.  Why?  The constant fog, the oversleeping, staying up too late....it was a cycle I knew I HAD to break.  Then I did what I wondered if I could ever do.  I want to be in the real estate field far more than I want to sit up late and night and drink rum & diets....I had to make a choice, and I did.  I broke that vicious cycle.  Then something really strange happened.

When I started going to bed without my favorite sleep aid (rum)....I realized how insanely early my husband was getting up to go to work as a manager for a gas station/convenience store.   3:30am.  He's been doing this for almost an entire year, and up until the 'no rum', I really had no idea.  This had to change for him....and then I started to pray.

Prayer for me has not been a regular activity, if ever.   I mean, if you fall asleep before your head hits the pillow, ummmm it's hard to get a hearfelt prayer out, and honestly - I never even thought of it.  Maybe I didn't care, or see a reason.  I've always had this theory that someone, somewhere - has it much harder than I do.  So maybe God should take care of them first.  (i have some strange theories and mind methods lol). 

So, after going to bed, within a night or two of stopping my rummy drinks, I prayed.  In my prayers I ask God to fill my heart with the Holy Spirit until I could physically feel it, and then I did.  The feeling reminds me of my first communion....I physically felt cleansed for days afterwards.   From there, I do a childhood prayer, focusing on the Holy Spirit within me, then the Lord's Prayer, and then giving deep and heartfelt thanks for my blessings, continuing to feel the prayer stirring inside of my heart.  Then I ask for Him to take my hand and lead us (Hubby and I) down the paths He has planned.  Then something happened.  Things started to change.  The changes I will share in a future post, but I will say this, I pray every night.

I feel my prayers are becoming more and more heartfelt and genuine.  I now fold my hands.  I only ask for His guidance....because I have learned, I can't change the path that has already been chosen.  I can only go along for the ride and know that is what is SUPPOSED to be.  The funny thing is, I think we both want the same for me, you know....the me that I wasn't sure that He believed in.

no booze...is OK!

Well, it's been some time now since I decided to stop my rum chugging. I should update my 'I quit' blog to 'I'm changing my habits'. I no longer drink rum every night and in fact, I don't even drink on the weekends now. Do i miss it? Nope. I realized that never drinking again really isn't what I wanted to achieve....ex: pizza place with hubby, share a pitcher of beer. (I really just wanted the pizza and drank 3 glasses of water also) and I only had 2 glasses of beer and started to feel 'tipsy'! But I will admit, the beer tasted pretty darn good, and I have to think that's because I haven't been drinking lately. I'm feeling better, no hangovers, I don't sleep too late, I don't over eat at night, we are saving LOTS of $$$....I'm feeling this is a definite win/win. I'm realizing it was just a habit. Probably something I really didn't enjoy THAT much. I much prefer my ice water.

*edited* to add that I'm totally LOLing at my title of this blog and the giant pitcher of beer next to it LOL.

I quit

After years and years and years of drinking, sometimes WAY too much, I've decided to quit, at least for now. So many things are going on in my life, I need to put the pieces of this huge puzzle together. I can't do it hungover, sluggish, distracted, or dazed. Not to mention the cost. Not to mention the cost of a new liver, and that's not even in the budget! Will I never ever drink again, ummm I really doubt that I won’t do it(hehe), but who knows, maybe I will like NOT drinking more than i like to drink.

I’m really happy about this, it hasn’t even been that difficult. Well falling asleep has been but that is finally working itself out. Day 5 now….I’m excited about this. I feel like it’s the path to many, many good things.

My Husband has a ponytail

Those five words, should never had left my mouth or became keystrokes on my laptop. MY HUSBAND HAS A PONYTAIL.

Since losing his job, his new place of employment doesn't really 'care' if men have long hair (apparantly). It's not LONG...just long enough for things like headbands and ponytails. He says he doesn't wear a ponytail at work, but the little dents around where the band was, proves otherwise.

MY HUSBAND HAS A PONYTAIL.

Is this revenge for cutting ALL of my hair off a year and a half ago? I mean, I don't like long hair on men, unless you're John Bon Jovi and honey, you're not. I see long hair on a man and think.... laziness, smellyness, cruds, bugs, scabs, grease and ZZ Top....and now....

MY HUSBAND HAS A PONYTAIL.

and the worst part is, I think he likes it.

time and coffee

If i thought long enough about it, I 'could' find a relation between time and coffee. I sat down to blog (or post or whatever it's called) about COFFEE. After getting up around 7:00am, I MADE A POT OF COFFEE. I see those jaws dropping, now here's my story.

Lazy. Soooo lazy. Like embarrassing lazy. Yesterday, was the laziest...oh, I grilled out and was completely satisfied with THAT accomplishment for the day....see? LAZY. I could not shake this haze I was in allllllllll day, i even tried napping twice (unsuccessfully, like that really would have mattered lol). As the time crawled by, I yawned and stretched and search for some type of caffeinated beverage, again unsuccessfully. I looked at my $10 coffee pot and wondered if the grounds from my last pot were still in there, decided not to look aka lazy. See, my son loves to drive to school, he's 17 and that's what kids do at that age. I'm fine with that, but he drives my vehicle and that very much restricts me. Sooo I suffered all day in my lazy-haze, being .... lazy.

Around 4pm hubby calls and asks if we need anything from the store, I rattled off a short list and said, "Ohhh, can you get that Great Value cinnamon/vanilla cream???" He texts me back and says "cream?" Lightbulbs flash and I realize I needed to say COFFEE cream. Mission accomplished, he comes home with this delicousness and I look forward to the next morning (today) for my cure to my utter laziness ~ COFFEE.

Back to 7am, I practically am running to my coffee pot. First I grab my yummy coffee cream, opening it and then smelling it (cuz that's what I do, I smell everything) Oooops, yes, the old grounds are still there. Now I grab my tiny plastic Folgers canister of coffee, shock and horror run through me when I feel how light it feels, I slowly open it as if I'm afraid 10,000 spiders are going to run out of it and then smile to myself, just enough for one pot of coffee, and that is all I need.... for today.

An hour later, dishes are done and put away, 2 bathrooms scrubbed, 2 loads of laundry done, completed that stupid Census form that has been staring at me for two weeks, and why is all of this done by 10:30am? COFFEE. It's a drug, a warm, delightful, belly warming, running through my veins, drug.

Oh, I need to talk about time, well now cup of coffee is empty and time will have to wait to talk about time, because after all, it's time for more coffee.

the aftermath...

of...

can you guess?

The first day of school.

The took what they needed and left the rest to, well...stay on the floor. At least I know where I can quickly grab a pen, or pencil.