presents from God

It's no secret that God and I are in a 'getting to know you' stage.   He's been pretty tough on me and in return, I decided to ignore him.  Kind of like when a teenage couple breaks up, or gets mad at each other.  But I have opened my heart and decided to see what He has to offer, and what He would like from me.  I'm noticing He has LOTS to say, all the time....I just have to be willing to see and hear it.  I was looking around my backyard and noticed that he's been leaving me gifts. 

I have a very sunny spot in my backyard, and He thought I should have sunflowers there.

ignore the weeds, God does

Then He thought of even putting one sunflower in a pot for me! 

Then I was waaaayy in the backyard, and He thought black-eyed susans would look really nice behind the dog house, and He was right!

So I kept looking around for more presents, and found this doozy growing in a large wooden half barrel.

 I wandered around to the front yard, and found some extra special things growing, so I dug one of them up and potted it.  It looks really pretty on my porch.

And I went back to where I found that gem, and found even MORE.

 

and more....

I'm pretty tickled at my presents.  I'm also pretty tickled with God.

some runs are just not meant to be

My alarm woke me from a very deep sleep, my room was nice and cool seeing as how I had the windows open last night.  My husband was out of town, which meant my cool room and comfy bed were all mine, so I snoozed for an hour. 

Now it's 8am.  I reach over and grab my blackberry from the side table, laying in bed reading some emails and texts, and of course checking Facebook.  I snuggle in for just a few more minutes and decide it's time to get up, dressed, and go 'running' for the couch to 5K challenge.  I've been doing this for almost 2 weeks now, and I have to say....I am REALLY enjoying every part of this workout.   I look forward to my next run, I love sweating for an hour after, I love accomplishing the run just as my day begins.  It's just been a really positive thing for me.

I decide against my morning V8, why?  I'm not sure...but I didn't have it today.  I put on my running shorts, they're new, they go just below my knee...yes below, and are quite comfortable.  Thirteen dollars WELL spent.  I put on socks and shoes, a light t-shirt (rolling up the sleeves), put my hair in a ponytail and headband and begin to stretch.  If you don't already know how crucial it is to fully stretch, let me tell you.  It's crucial.  See how easy that was?  Well really, stretching helps to lengthen the muscles, and as we all know, aides in keeping us injury free.   I go to my purse to grab a piece of gum, and I'm out.  Harumph.  I like chewing gum while I run.  Always have.  I keeps me from realizing how badly I would love a drink of water.  So, no gum today.  I sit briefly at my laptop to get my ipods going, and a cat kindly bats it off the table to the carpeted floor.  Annoyed, I reach down and pick it up.  I slide on my armband, turning the C25K workout on one, and Nike Plus on the other...and go outside.  I always ALWAYS double check the Nike ipod, that is the one that tells me how far I've gone, how fast (or slow), how many calories I've burned, the route I've taken.  It's pretty much the heart of the workout.  I look to see that it has frozen.  What?  UGH.  I've only gone two houses from mine, so I turn around to go back home to figure out how to reset it.  Now it's reset, and again....I'm off.

What a beautiful summer morning.  I notice horseshoe tracks on the dirt road, and I smile.  The sun is hot but the air is cool, such a nice combination.  Then the C25K ipod says 'Ok, time to start your first run -- GO!'  I mumbled to myself already, no wait....I actually said it out loud.  So, I ran, it was fine.  My legs were quite tight, but I did it and then brisk walked until he said it was time for me to run...again!  So, I begin my trotting and I'm noticing that my legs feel like....concrete columns.  Bad.  Very bad.  But, I slowly plow through that run....dreading the next.  And the next.  And the next. 

My goal on this glorious day was to go further then before....and I did, and I knew the Nike ipod would be tracking my every step.  I got to the farmhouse with all the cattle and horses, there was a red truck coming towards me, so I stepped off the asphalt to the soft gravel....and fell.  I rolled my ankle and landed on my right knee and right palm.  My hand skinned, my knee skinned, peeled, bloody, little rocks embedded, but I jumped right up for fear of the red truck stopping to see if i was ok.   He didn't stop, or slow down, and I was thankful.  It was then that I decided to turn around.  This run was feeling more like climbing Mt. Everest, and I never signed up for that.

HOME at last.  I'm sweating.  A lot.  My t-shirt is drenched, you know like you see on TV, that's me.  I always wash my face and hands when I get home, then keep soaking up sweat with a towel.  I sat down to load my Nike run....and it only got the first 8 minutes.  So not only did my run SUCK, it's like it never happened.  How awesome.

Today I will be trying yoga.

I did lose another 3 pounds this week, and I do realize I still got in a GOOD workout today :)

Motivation.

What drives you.  What feeds your inner fuel so much that you would do what it takes, to achieve a higher goal.  

Motivation is based on three specific aspects such as the arousal of behavior, the direction of behavior, and persistence of behavior. Arousal of behavior involves what activates human behavior and direction of behavior is concerned with what directs behavior towards a specific goal. Persistence of behavior is concerned with how the behavior is sustained.

borrowed from ezinarticles.com

What changes what we 'want' into something we 'can achieve'?  Clearly the difference is the desire to make that change, but we all WANT things, what changes that want into a deep-driven motivation?   Simple things like getting out of bed, is motivation.  Driving to Burger King is also motivation.  That's something we WANT....so we do it.   Drinking thirteen beers is also a drive within us.  But are these 'motivaters' just that easy?  And I find the answer to be a resounding 'YES'.

The motivation that I believe that most people have trouble finding is much, much more complex.  Striving to succeed past the easy things, making smart, informed choices.  Passing the 'no-excuses' zone.  Wanting something so badly that NOTHING will stand in your way.  This motivation is clearly more driven than just being motivated enough to get out of bed, or go to work. 

I look at successful people.  They are happy, fulfilled.  Live for everyday, excited about what each new day will bring.  They don't balk at life's challenges, they face them head on.  "Successful" people aren't always the people with the fat paychecks.   They are successful because they have made a choice and have delivered upon reaching goals, continuing to set new ones.  I believe they have a visual image of what they want, and they lock onto that --- until they get it.  Is motivation learned?  Is it hereditary? 

So I ask YOU.  What motivates you?  Large or small.  What is it? 

it's a win/win/win

Yesterday after my arduous Walmart trip, I collapsed for a brief moment at my laptop before putting the groceries away. Twitter was already up so I quickly skimmed the tweets. Tweets? Are we birds? Anyway, I saw there was an ISU contest. All you had to do was take a picture of yourself wearing an ISU shirt, three winners would be chosen and the prize was a new ISU t-shirt. I looked at the clock, i had 21 minutes to put on some ISU gear, take a pic, email it to myself, crop, figure out how to put a picture up on Twitter and tweet it to CyISU. My hubby graduated from Iowa State and also was a football manager for a few years, so we have a super abundance of authentic football jerseys. I tossed one on and had my son take a pic.

do i love this picture? no, but I wanted to win a tshirt!

Whew, my tweet was sent and winners would find out later in the evening if they won. So I cleaned the kitchen, then made some muffins.  Blueberry.  Blueberry Fiber One.  Two points each.  I froze half and ate the other 12....JUST KIDDING. 

don't these look divine?

I was sitting.... ok, sprawled on the couch and my blackberry started blinking. Could it be? It was a direct message from Iowa State Athletics!  I WON! 

ISUCy Congrats 2 @nickmongar @Dabobie @acrozier22 4 being selected as this weeks Searching Cy winners! Searching Cy will take place again next wed   (I am @Dabobie)

Then, this direct message :

ISUCy Congrats on being selected as a Searching Cy winner! Please send ur shirt size and address and we will mail you ur prize!
 
So, there ya go.  I had a pretty eventful night. Now my dilemma, do I get the tshirt for me or do I get a size for my hubby?

OHHHH, and I lost 5 pounds during week one of Weight Watchers :)

baseball and running and cowboys - Oh My!

Short post today, busy day ahead of me.  First off, I already did my Couch25K run for the day.  It was 78 degrees and it seemed like a good time to just get it done with.  Shortly after heading into out, after my first leg of running, I saw a deer.  He was crossing the road and was very interested in me.  He stopped and posed (of course because I didn't have a camera) and was very curious about what I was doing.  He didn't even notice the gray mini van waiting for him to cross.  I kept running towards him, then he realized I wasn't nearly as interesting as he first thought, and trotted off.  I was happy for the nice little distraction as I was puffing through another 60 second leg of running.  I did the entire workout!  Ran when I was supposed to, no stops for stretching, tying my shoes or because I was out of breath.  I'm proud of my muffin-top self.

We spend a lot of time at baseball fields.  Our son, Ryan is playing in a very competitive league which means we have 4-7 games/week.  We love baseball and especially watching him play.  Hubby and I both love the game.  I sometimes wonder how we will spend our summers when he is too old for the league.  This year has been relentlessly hot and humid.  I always pack a cooler to keep us from the unhealthy and expensive concession stand.   Usually there are carrots and granola bars packed but since this game started at 8pm, I skipped it.

We always sit behind the left center field fence.  It's a good seat...we like it, sometimes I think we are the Waverly Bleacher Bums.  However, when Ryan needs a Gatorade, one of us has to hike over to the dugout, last night....I volunteered.  After giving him the drink, I decided to walk around the entire field.  I came to the parking lot and lo and behold...there was a picture I HAD to take.  It was glorious.  Fine.  A nice reminder of what wonderful things Nebraska has to offer.   I quickly snapped one shot (omg it was so blurry - camera phone) and then he MOVED!!  I wanted to cry.  So then I pretended to be talking on the phone and I walked away, but not tooooo far.  Then he went back to his 'pose' and then 'CLICK' I got it.  I was very pleased with my paparazzi style photography, and then I ran away.  What if someone saw me?  Well, it was worth it.

How nice of him to pose.  Boots, wranglers, hat.  There is a God.

Couch to 5K

Couch to 5K is also known as C25K for the super cool and work out savvy (of which I am neither).  Before last week, it was nothing I had ever heard before.  I thought it looked kinda funny on Twitter, but then,  everything looks pretty foreign to me on Twitter.   My sister, @LovelyShaw was talking about being 'motivated' and 'ready and excited' to start this new workout/running regime where you will be able to run a 5K in 12 weeks.  After finally figuring out how to put the workout on my Ipod, I knew it was time to get out and START. 

I was all geared up with my Nike running shoes, Ipod and headphones and armband to keep the Ipod in place.  I clicked 'start workout' and got ready to GO!  Then it hit me.  I can't do the podcast along with my Nike Plus ( Nike Plus tracks your pace, how long you ran, where you ran, and how much time it took you to do it).  I grabbed another Ipod, you know, for Nike plus, but it was d-e-a-d.   So off I went without my high techie running stuff going, the only 'reward' for doing the run was to ACTUALLY DO IT.  It was not easy dear friends.  About 10 minutes into it, my legs were telling me things I have never heard them say before.  Ohhh the four letter words!   You know like stop, don't, and quit!   I did walk briskly through 3 of the 60 second running segments, but I was alright with that.  Then I pushed.  I pushed my legs to MOVE, not my heart to race, I pushed my mind past the 'maybe I can walk the rest'.  I kept going and I'm pretty darn excited about it. 

I saw 2 deer and 2 dead snakes (my favorite kind of snakes), multiple rabbits...no pun intended.  I always think the first step in something work-out related is the absolute most difficult, and I am pretty happy that first step is over.    I hope I can find my legs by Wednesday.

back on the Weight Watchers Wagon...again and again and again.

Part of my success as a new real estate agent (when I pass the exam) is the 'image' of myself being an agent.  Thin(ish) and professional, cute skirts, tasteful heels, pin-striped jackets with camesoles, long dark brown hair.  (yes, dark brown!)    I deeply feel this image or new career path is a package deal.  So, this past  Monday, I started WW again...AGAIN!  

I don't mind WW....I really like the 'good for you' foods.   Veggies, fish, fruit, whole grain breads, whole grain rice, water.  So really that's pretty easy for me.  What happens is I lose the weight, then take 8 months and gain it right back.  Exercising outside in the summer is a challenge because I'm SOOOO heat sensitive.  Luckily for me, it stays light enough for a late evening walk or run,  errrr slow jog....trot, ok...stroll.   I'm also good at preparing my own meals.  I do buy a few 'Smart One's' a week, but only three, and I add rice, or more steamed veggies.   I took pictures of my last two days of lunches.  Yesterdays was 5 points, today is 8. 

(omg i see my toes!!)

4 point Smart One's with 1 1/2 cups steamed broccoli added

(my fork has been 'used' to take the salmon out of the toaster oven lol)

4 ounces baked salmon, 1 1/2 cups brown rice (I add salsa for flavor) and 1 cup(ish) steamed broccoli ~ I use a salad plate for a full meal look effect.

So, I'm back in the saddle.  I consider it another step towards achieving my ultimate goal, which really....now that I think about it, is a whole new me.  And that excites me....a lot.

the power of prayer?

I will be the first to admit that I do not attend church services, nor am I a bible thumper.  I do consider myself spiritual, and I do believe in God, very much so.  I guess sometimes I have wondered if God believed in me.

 I realized over the past few months that alcohol was probably going to keep me from real estate.  Why?  The constant fog, the oversleeping, staying up too late....it was a cycle I knew I HAD to break.  Then I did what I wondered if I could ever do.  I want to be in the real estate field far more than I want to sit up late and night and drink rum & diets....I had to make a choice, and I did.  I broke that vicious cycle.  Then something really strange happened.

When I started going to bed without my favorite sleep aid (rum)....I realized how insanely early my husband was getting up to go to work as a manager for a gas station/convenience store.   3:30am.  He's been doing this for almost an entire year, and up until the 'no rum', I really had no idea.  This had to change for him....and then I started to pray.

Prayer for me has not been a regular activity, if ever.   I mean, if you fall asleep before your head hits the pillow, ummmm it's hard to get a hearfelt prayer out, and honestly - I never even thought of it.  Maybe I didn't care, or see a reason.  I've always had this theory that someone, somewhere - has it much harder than I do.  So maybe God should take care of them first.  (i have some strange theories and mind methods lol). 

So, after going to bed, within a night or two of stopping my rummy drinks, I prayed.  In my prayers I ask God to fill my heart with the Holy Spirit until I could physically feel it, and then I did.  The feeling reminds me of my first communion....I physically felt cleansed for days afterwards.   From there, I do a childhood prayer, focusing on the Holy Spirit within me, then the Lord's Prayer, and then giving deep and heartfelt thanks for my blessings, continuing to feel the prayer stirring inside of my heart.  Then I ask for Him to take my hand and lead us (Hubby and I) down the paths He has planned.  Then something happened.  Things started to change.  The changes I will share in a future post, but I will say this, I pray every night.

I feel my prayers are becoming more and more heartfelt and genuine.  I now fold my hands.  I only ask for His guidance....because I have learned, I can't change the path that has already been chosen.  I can only go along for the ride and know that is what is SUPPOSED to be.  The funny thing is, I think we both want the same for me, you know....the me that I wasn't sure that He believed in.

no booze...is OK!

Well, it's been some time now since I decided to stop my rum chugging. I should update my 'I quit' blog to 'I'm changing my habits'. I no longer drink rum every night and in fact, I don't even drink on the weekends now. Do i miss it? Nope. I realized that never drinking again really isn't what I wanted to achieve....ex: pizza place with hubby, share a pitcher of beer. (I really just wanted the pizza and drank 3 glasses of water also) and I only had 2 glasses of beer and started to feel 'tipsy'! But I will admit, the beer tasted pretty darn good, and I have to think that's because I haven't been drinking lately. I'm feeling better, no hangovers, I don't sleep too late, I don't over eat at night, we are saving LOTS of $$$....I'm feeling this is a definite win/win. I'm realizing it was just a habit. Probably something I really didn't enjoy THAT much. I much prefer my ice water.

*edited* to add that I'm totally LOLing at my title of this blog and the giant pitcher of beer next to it LOL.

I quit

After years and years and years of drinking, sometimes WAY too much, I've decided to quit, at least for now. So many things are going on in my life, I need to put the pieces of this huge puzzle together. I can't do it hungover, sluggish, distracted, or dazed. Not to mention the cost. Not to mention the cost of a new liver, and that's not even in the budget! Will I never ever drink again, ummm I really doubt that I won’t do it(hehe), but who knows, maybe I will like NOT drinking more than i like to drink.

I’m really happy about this, it hasn’t even been that difficult. Well falling asleep has been but that is finally working itself out. Day 5 now….I’m excited about this. I feel like it’s the path to many, many good things.

My Husband has a ponytail

Those five words, should never had left my mouth or became keystrokes on my laptop. MY HUSBAND HAS A PONYTAIL.

Since losing his job, his new place of employment doesn't really 'care' if men have long hair (apparantly). It's not LONG...just long enough for things like headbands and ponytails. He says he doesn't wear a ponytail at work, but the little dents around where the band was, proves otherwise.

MY HUSBAND HAS A PONYTAIL.

Is this revenge for cutting ALL of my hair off a year and a half ago? I mean, I don't like long hair on men, unless you're John Bon Jovi and honey, you're not. I see long hair on a man and think.... laziness, smellyness, cruds, bugs, scabs, grease and ZZ Top....and now....

MY HUSBAND HAS A PONYTAIL.

and the worst part is, I think he likes it.

time and coffee

If i thought long enough about it, I 'could' find a relation between time and coffee. I sat down to blog (or post or whatever it's called) about COFFEE. After getting up around 7:00am, I MADE A POT OF COFFEE. I see those jaws dropping, now here's my story.

Lazy. Soooo lazy. Like embarrassing lazy. Yesterday, was the laziest...oh, I grilled out and was completely satisfied with THAT accomplishment for the day....see? LAZY. I could not shake this haze I was in allllllllll day, i even tried napping twice (unsuccessfully, like that really would have mattered lol). As the time crawled by, I yawned and stretched and search for some type of caffeinated beverage, again unsuccessfully. I looked at my $10 coffee pot and wondered if the grounds from my last pot were still in there, decided not to look aka lazy. See, my son loves to drive to school, he's 17 and that's what kids do at that age. I'm fine with that, but he drives my vehicle and that very much restricts me. Sooo I suffered all day in my lazy-haze, being .... lazy.

Around 4pm hubby calls and asks if we need anything from the store, I rattled off a short list and said, "Ohhh, can you get that Great Value cinnamon/vanilla cream???" He texts me back and says "cream?" Lightbulbs flash and I realize I needed to say COFFEE cream. Mission accomplished, he comes home with this delicousness and I look forward to the next morning (today) for my cure to my utter laziness ~ COFFEE.

Back to 7am, I practically am running to my coffee pot. First I grab my yummy coffee cream, opening it and then smelling it (cuz that's what I do, I smell everything) Oooops, yes, the old grounds are still there. Now I grab my tiny plastic Folgers canister of coffee, shock and horror run through me when I feel how light it feels, I slowly open it as if I'm afraid 10,000 spiders are going to run out of it and then smile to myself, just enough for one pot of coffee, and that is all I need.... for today.

An hour later, dishes are done and put away, 2 bathrooms scrubbed, 2 loads of laundry done, completed that stupid Census form that has been staring at me for two weeks, and why is all of this done by 10:30am? COFFEE. It's a drug, a warm, delightful, belly warming, running through my veins, drug.

Oh, I need to talk about time, well now cup of coffee is empty and time will have to wait to talk about time, because after all, it's time for more coffee.